"The price for independance is often isolation and solitude." -- Steve Schmidt
"A pessimist is one who builds dungeons in the air." -- Walter Winchell
"I am an agnostic; I do not pretend to know what many ignorant men are sure of." -- Clarence Darrow
"There is no conversation more boring than the one where everybody agrees." -- Michael de Montaigne
"This world may be another world's hell."
"To know, is to know that you know nothing. That is the meaning of true knowledge." -- Confucius 
"I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain." -- Jane Wagner
"Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead." -- The Warner Brothers (Animaniacs)
"I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it."
"Dream as if you'll live forever, Live as if you'll die today." -- James Dean
"Go away, I'm alright!" -- Last words of H. G. Wells 
"I always knew that I'd look back at my tears and laugh, but I never thought that I'd look back at my laughter and cry."
"Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward." -- Gallagher
"There is no greater tragedy than doing nothing for fear of doing too little."
"There are two perfectly good men, one dead, and the other unborn."-- Chinese Proverb 
"Every great achievement was once considered impossible." -- Anonymous
"I don't measure a man's success by how high he climps but how high he bounces when he hits bottom." -- General Patton
"Wisdom is the reward for a lifetime of listening ... when you'd have preferred to talk." --D.J. Kaufman 
"Consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
I was never less alone than when by myself." ~~~~Edward Gibbon
In the long run, we are all dead. -John Maynard Keynes
All great truths begin as blasphemies. -George Bernard Shaw
There was never a genius without a tincture of insanity. -Aristotle
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.  ~~Ambrose Bilerce.
Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.  ~~~Clark Gable 
You're not too bright. I like that in a man.
The certain proof that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that no one has bothered to make contact with us
I used to believe in reincarnation, but that was long ago, in another life.  ~~Dave Schinbeckler
A camel is a horse designed by a committee.
Thank you, but I have other plans... Response to 'Have a nice day' 
"Tell a man there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it."
"Falling in love is easy, but staying in love is hard."-Unknown
"You don't love me...you love who you think I am."-Unknown
"If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without you."-Winnie the Pooh
"With all my heart I wished I could have comforted him. I wished I could have put my arm around his shoulder or sat on his knee and told him that we'd get through this...But I didn't do anything. I just stood there until I couldn't stand there anymore."   -Ann Patchett
"It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not." -Andre Gide
"Always try to maintain complete tolerance and always make an effort to give people more than they expect."-Scott Hamilton
"It happens too often that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key."-The Eagles
"Things do not change. We change."-Thoreau
"There was a time when I thought life was over for me, I thought I had seen and done it all and I was still empty-I never would have thought life was just beginning."-Ed Cash
"What's with today, today?" -Rory Cochrane
"If you were goint to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?"-Stephen Levine 
"You can't change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying about the future."-Unknown
"People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it."-Unknown
"I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure which is to try and please everyone."   -Reba McEntire
"Who you are speaks so loudly I can't hear what you're saying."-Emerson
"This life is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual life, you would have received further instructions on where to go and what to do."-Found on a bulletin board
"I try to keep in mind that there's not a person that I meet that I cannot teach something to, and there's not a person that I meet that I can't learn something from."-Unknown
"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation."-Thoreau
"Don't walk in front of me...I may not follow. Don't walk behind me...I may not lead. Walk beside me...and just be my friend."-Camus 
"A friend is someone you can do nothing with, and enjoy it."
"In the end it is your friends-the times you've shared, the good and the bad-that will be most precious to you. Remember that sooner than later." -Unknown
"Good friends are difficult to hide, hard to leave, and impossible to forget." -Annie Dilliard
"Real friends are those who when you've made a fool of yourself, don't feel as though you've done a permanent job."-Anonymous
"Your friend is the person who knows all about you, and still likes you."-Elbert Hubbard
"False friends are like our shadow, keeping close to us while we walk in the sunshine, but leaving us when we cross into the shade."    -Unknown
"Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say."-Unknown
"You gotta have a dream. I fyou don't have a dream, how ya ever gonna make a dream come true?"-South Pacific
"If you have a dream, follow it. Even if it doesn't lead you to where you hoped it might, it must be a better place than you started from."   -Unknown
"The soul would have no rainbows had the eyes no tears."     -John Vance Cherry 
"Failure is not falling down; failure is when you don't get back up."   -Unknown
"We have a knowledge that even in the darkest nights the sun will rise again." -Les Miserables
"Great spirits have always encountered violent oppositions from mediocre minds."-Albert Einstien
"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you too can become great."-Mark Twain
"When it is dark enough, you can see the stars." -Charles A. Beard
"There is no sun without the shadow and it is essential to know the night."-Anonymous
"The bridge between laughing and crying is not long."    -Jamaican Proverb
"I realize that it doesn't matter who or what or when or where the hugging happens. Sometimes you just need a hug."-Hope Floats
"Make yourself a blessing to someone. Your kind smile or pat on the back just might pull someone back from the edge."-Carmelia Elliot
"Sometimes, somebody says something really small that fits into a big empty place inside your heart."-Unknown
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle."-Plato
"Smile even if it is a sad smile 'cause the only thing sadder than a sad smile is the sadness of not knowing how to smile."-Unknown
"It may be raining, but there's a rainbow above you." -Unknown
"Simple. I got very bored and depressed, so I went and plugged myself into its external computer feed. I talked to the computer at great length and explained my view of the Universe to it."
"The ships hung in the air, the exact same way that bricks don't"
"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
"There is another that states that this has already happened." 
"I am the main Dish of the Day. May I interst you in parts of my body?" 
"Humans think they are smarter than dolphins because we build cars and buildings and start wars etc...and all that dolphins do is swim in the water, eat fish and play around. Dolphins believe that they are smarter for exactly the same reasons."
"Why do we need to think? Can't we just sit here and go BLBLBLBLBLB with our lips for a bit?"
"Anything, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen."
"If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?" 
"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity." 
"Relativity teaches us the connection between the different descriptions of one and the same reality". 
"I have no particular talent. I am merely inquisitive."
"It's not that I'm so smart , it's just that I stay with problems longer ." 
"I cannot conceive of a God who rewards and punishes his creatures, or has a will of the kind that we experience in ourselves. Neither can I nor would I want to conceive of an individual that survives his physical death; let feeble souls, from fear or absurd egoism, cherish such thoughts. I am satisfied with the mystery of the eternity of life and with the awareness and a glimpse of the marvelous structure of the existing world, together with the devoted striving to comprehend a portion, be it ever so tiny, of the Reason that manifests itself in nature." 
"The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives." 
"The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead." 
"A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of others ." 
"Only a life lived for others is a life worth while ." 
"Two things inspire me to awe -- the starry heavens above and the moral universe within ." 
"It is a magnificent feeling to recognize the unity of complex phenomena which appear to be things quite apart from the direct visible truth." 
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." 
"It is only to the individual that a soul is given." 
"The real problem is in the hearts and minds of men. It is easier to denature plutonium than to denature the evil spirit of man." 
"All religions, arts and sciences are branches of the same tree. All these aspirations are directed toward ennobling man's life, lifting it from the sphere of mere physical existence and leading the individual towards freedom." 
"Peace cannot be achieved through violence, it can only be attained through understanding." 
"Teaching should be such that what is offered is perceived as a valuable gift and not as a hard duty ." 
"Things should be made as simple as possible, but not any simpler." 
"Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age 18."
"Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts." 
"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new." 
"If A equals success, then the formula is: A=X+Y+Z. X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut." 
"The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once." 
"Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character."  
"The ideals that have lightened my way and have given the ability to face life cheerfully have been kindness, beauty, and truth." 
"The reading of all good books is like conversation with the finest men of past centuries." Descartes
"Nothing on earth consumes a man more quickly than the passion of resentment." Nietzsche
"One problem with gazing too frequently into the past is that we may turn around to find the future has run out on us." -Michael Cibenko 
"The softest things in the world overcome the hardest things in the world." Lao-tzu  
"Kindness consists in loving people more than they deserve." -Joseph Joubert  
"When things are bad, we take comfort in the thought that they could always be worse. And when they are, we find hope in the thought that things are so bad that they have to get better." -Malcolm S Forbes  
"Love me or hate me but spare me your indifference." -Libbie Fudim 
"It is not true that life is one damn thing after another...It's one damn thing over and over. -Edna St. Vincent Millay 
"The forest is magnificent, yet it contains no perfect trees." -Gye Fram. 
"Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think." -Jean de La Bruyre 
"Is life worth living? That depends on the liver." -Anonymous
"Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television." -David Letterman
"Things are more like they are now than they ever were before." -Dwight D. Eisenhower
"It's better to get mugged than to live a life of fear." -Freeman Dyson
"Life is a series of rude awakenings." -R. Van Winkle 
"Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by day, in all the thousand, small, uncaring ways." -Stephen V. Benet
"Life is wasted on the living." -Zaphod Beeblebrox IV
"Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life." -Eric Hoffer
"He's turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he's miserable and depressed."  -David Frost
"Given the choice between the experience of pain and nothing, I would choose pain."  -William Faulkner 
"Dying is easy, it's living that scares me to death." -Annie Lennox 
"Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved."  -Mark Twain 
"Life may at times be boring, but is it more fun to be dead?" -Alcor Life Extension Foundation
"It is possible to live only as long as life intoxicates us; as soon as we sober again we see that it is all a delusion, and a stupid one!"  -Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy 
"He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it." -Douglas Adams 
"There are things that are so serious that you can only joke about them." -Werner Karl Heisenberg 
"Mourn not the dead... But rather mourn the apathetic throng The cowed and meek Who see the world's great anguish and its wrong, And dare not speak."  -Ralph Chaplin 
"The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and for deeds left undone."  -Harriet Elizabeth Beecher Stowe 
"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them."  -Henry David Thoreau 
"Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives." -William Dement
"If the automobile had followed the same development as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year killing everyone inside." -Robert Cringely
"Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh."  -W. H. Auden
"The ultimate test of whether you posses a sense of humor is your reaction when someone tells you you don't."  -Frank Tyger
"A pun is the lowest form of humor when you don't think of it first."  -Oscar Levant
"Laughter is not a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is the best ending for one."  -Oscar Wilde 
"A satirist is a man who discovers unpleasant things about himself and then says them about other people."  -Peter McArthur
"Pizza is a lot like sex. When it's good, it's really good. When it's bad, it's still pretty good." -Anonymous
"A signature always reveals a man's character and sometimes even his name."    -Evan Esar
"Where would we be without rhetorical questions?"  -Anonymous
"Once you can accept the universe as being something expanding into an infinite nothing which is something, wearing stripes with plaid is easy." -Albert Einstein 
"When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety." -Steven Wright 
"Forgiveness is better than revenge, for forgiveness is the sign of a gentle nature, but revenge is the sign of a savage nature."  -Epictetus
"A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel." -Robert Frost
"A liberal is a person whose interests aren't at stake, at the moment." -Willis Player
"A religious conservative is a fanatic about a dead radical."  -Unknown
"Imagination grows by exercise and contrary to common belief is more powerful in the mature than in the young." - W. Somerset Maugham 
"You can't depend on your judgment when your imagination is out of focus." - Mark Twain 
"Most idealistic people are skint. I have discovered that people with money have no imagination, and people with imagination have no money." - George Weiss 
"Life is an illusion and reality is a figment of the imagination."  -The Rocky Horror Picture Show
"A room without books is like a body without a soul." -Cicero
"Read the best books first, or you may not have a chance to read them all." -Henry David Thoreau
"The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them." -Mark Twain
"When you read a classic you do not see in the book more than you did before. You see more in you than there was before." -Clifton Fadiman
"If a government were put in charge of the Sahara Desert, within five years, they'd have a shortage of sand." - Milton Friedman
"If you want to understand your government, don't begin by reading the Constitution. (It conveys precious little of the flavor of today's statecraft.) Instead, read selected portions of the Washington telephone directory containing listings for all the organizations with titles beginning with the word National."  -George Will
"No class of Americans, so far as I know, has ever objected ... to any amount of governmental meddling if it appeared to benefit that particular class."  -Carl Becker
"A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul."  -George Bernard Shaw
"That government is best which governs least."  -Henry David Thoreau
"How can one conceive of a one-party system in a country that has over 200 varieties of cheese."  -Charles de Gaulle 
"Governments tend not to solve problems, only rearrange them." -Ronald Reagan
"A hearty laugh gives one a dry cleaning, while a good cry is a wet wash." -Puzant Kevork Thomajan 
Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Don't trust a man/woman who doesn't close his/her eyes when you kiss them.
Experience teaches that a strong memory is generally joined to a weak judgment. -Michel de Montaigne 
Clever liars give details, but the cleverest don't. -Anonymous.
It is always the best policy to speak the truth, unless of course you are an exceptionally good liar. -Jerome K. Jerome 
Man is the only man that blushes. Or needs to. -Mark Twain
From the fact there are 400,000 species of beetles on this planet, but only 8,000 species of mammals, he concluded that the Creator, if He exists, has a special preference for beetles, and so we might be more likley to meet them than any other type of animal on a planet that would support life. -J.B.S. Haldane
Curiosity is the very basis of education and if you tell me that curiosity killed the cat, I say only the cat died nobly.  -Arnold Edinborough 
The only mystery about the cat is why it ever decided to become a domesticated animal. -Compton MacKenzie 
If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat. -Mark Twain 
I have seen the future and it's like the present, only longer. -Dan Quisenberry. 
If you're not five minutes early, you're ten minutes late. -Anonymous. 
The surest way to be late is to have plenty of time. -Leo Kennedy. 
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. -Berlioz. 
Half of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.  -Solomon Short
There is much pleasure to be gained in useless knowledge.  -Bertrand Russell
People who know little are usually great talkers, while men who know much say little.  -Jean Jacques Rousseau
When I hear somebody sigh, Life is hard, I am always tempted to ask, Compared to what? -Sydney J. Harris 
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. -W.C. Fields 
A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer. -Robert Frost 
The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office. -Robert Frost  
Good leaders must first become good servants. -Robert Greenleaf 
Always forgive your enemies: nothing annoys them so much. -Oscar Wilde
You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. -Al Capone 
Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face. -Victor Hugo 
We love a joke that hands us a pat on the back while it kicks the other fellow downstairs. -Edson 
Beauty is only skin deep, but it's a valuable asset if you're poor or haven't any sense. -Kin Hubbard 
Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband. -Ambrose Bierce 
Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones do. But beautiful women don't need to know about men. It's the men who have to know about beautiful women. -Katherine Hepburn
Beauty is not caused. It is. -Emily Dickenson
Beauty is power; a smile is its sword. -Charles Reade
Love is knowing that you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, and not knowing if they want to spend it with you.
The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost. -Gilbert K. Chesterton 
The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas at the same time, and still retain the ability to function. -F. Scott Fitzgerald 
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.  -Oscar Wilde
I AM TRING TTO GET THE HANG OF THIS NEW FFANGELED TYPING MACHINE, I AM NOT MAKING A SSHINING SUCCESS OF IT -Mark Twain
"I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by." - Douglas Adams
"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." - Douglas Adams
"What if we are all victims of a mass delusion and nothing exists? In that case I definitely overpaid for my carpet." -Woody Allen
"Happiness is good health and a bad memory."  - Ingrid Bergman
"After you've heard two eyewitness accounts of an auto accident it makes you wonder about history." - Bits & Pieces
"Journalism consists largely in saying "Lord Jones died" to people who never knew Lord Jones was alive." - G. K. Chesterton
"I sometimes go to my own little world, but that's okay, they know me there." - Joel Hodgson
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." - Rich Jeni
"I hate mankind, for I think myself to be one of them, and I know how bad I am." - Samuel Johnson
"Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a new dog, you get remarried, you owe ten million dollars in medical bills but you work hard for thirty-five years and you pay it back and then -- one day -- you have a massive stroke, your whole right side is paralyzed, you have to limp along the streets and speak out of the left side of your mouth and drool but you go into rehabilitation and regain the power to walk and the power to talk and then -- one day -- you step off a curb at Sixty-seventh Street, and BANG you get hit by a city bus and then you die. Maybe." - Denis Leary
"Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking" - H. L. Mencken
"I would have made a good Pope. " - Richard Nixon, U.S. President
"I couldn't remember when I had been so disappointed. Except perhaps the time I found out that M&Ms really do melt in your hand..." - Peter Oakley
"Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and illiterate sport fishermen." - P. J. O'Rourke
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." - Charles Schultz
"There's too much blood in my caffeine system." - Seen on a bumper sticker
"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind." -Humphrey Bogart 
"The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them." -William Clayton
"My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet."  -Rodney Dangerfield
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.  ( Mark Twain ) 
"The more you think about things, the weirder they seem. Take this milk. Why do we drink *cow* milk?? Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said, "I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these things when I squeeze 'em!"?" - Bill Watterson 
"I live on a one-way dead-end street."  -Steven Wright
"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets." - Dave Edison 
"Never invoke the gods unless you really want them to appear. It annoys them very much." -G.K. Chesterton 
"Never give up. And never, under any circumstances, face the facts." -Ruth Gordon 
"My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right." - Ashleigh Brilliant 